Internet Safety for Men

As a man who seeks companionship, it gets very tricky online nowadays just to make sure the person you’re talking to isn’t a scammer or someone who is using you to get drug money or whatever else they’re into. I see it happen all the time, hear about it from lots of people I know, and I’ve had several try their hand at screwing me over. What I’ve found, is there are some simple rules you can follow along with some tests to scope out the other person’s intentions.

There are two types of scammers: Local ones, and non-local ones. They’re going to have different approaches to their victims, so there are different tests and approaches you need to take to vet them out. Let’s go into the different types and their identifiers.

Local scammers are going to be most likely to be drug addicts whose mission is to scam as many people as they can to be able to get enough money rounded up for them to get high that day. Sometimes they work with a bunch of other people to scam people wholesale with the purpose of getting everyone high. Think of it as everyone in those circles are out getting money and then combining the day’s finds with everyone else’s so they can make a big purchase of drugs and split among themselves. Or maybe they’re just out for themselves, you never really know. The problem with local scammers is they’re far harder to identify if you have no experience with scammers, or if they are someone you know and possibly like. Signs of a local scammer include (but are not limited to):

• Asking if you have cashapp early into the conversation, even barely knowing you
• Only seem interested in conversation when there is the prospect of getting money
• The dollar amounts they are asking for are drug purchase amounts ($40/60/80/etc) and they are masquerading this request as help with bills while never offering to show the actual bill and account number.
• They talk about going on dates/meetups but never follow through. In fact, they will ghost you the day the plans are supposed to happen.
• Conversations that don’t have anything to do with money are sporadic and take hours or days between replies.
• Some profiles that appear to be local people, may have been accounts hijacked by someone who isn’t local, or at a bare minimum “not that person”.

Who might local scammers be? Is there an easy way to tell? Just from looking at a profile, some red flags to watch out for:

• They post a lot of sexy pictures, or photos are sparse. Their posts may also be rare or irregular. This is an indicator it may not be their real or primary profile.
• Many of the people that comment on their posts are thirsty types that are of the opposite sex and are flirting with them, or clearly interested at the very least.
• They have multiple profiles, or you spot profiles with different names and same photos. This is a sign that this person is either frequently hijacked, they have multiple profiles that they use for different purposes (such as a real legit profile, but also profiles they use to scam), and you can’t be certain that the profile you are looking at is their “real” one.
• They have no job, but they frequently have items for sale. These are most likely stolen.
• They’re overly flirty with you on first contact.

Non-local scammers are the ones that people think of as being international, usually from India or Nigeria. However, there are plenty of domestic scammers, as well as scammers in other countries. But for the sake of conversation, none of these scammers are local to their victim. Identifying a non-local scammer can be easy if you can follow instructions and not be gullible. Remember, these scammers are professional liars, and are in a bigger league than most local scammers. Local scammers have certain advantages because they can literally look you straight in the eye, face to face, and lie to you, but non-local scammers have to be more creative. Usually, their victims are elderly, lonely, mentally handicapped, or otherwise just gullible as hell.

For the sake of this article, I don’t want to talk about every type of scammer, instead I want to focus on romance scammers and crypto/forex scammers. And more specifically, the ones that approach their victims from accounts with sexy pictures of women. From these accounts, they either outright scam them out of money with promises to meet their victim, or they socialize just long enough to introduce their pyramid scheme.

To learn what someone’s intentions with you are, you need to pay attention to what they spend the most time talking about, or how quickly they get into promoting their scam. Normal people who want to have real conversation with you aren’t going to dive right into asking for money, or talk about their business opportunity in their first conversation. This is something to keep in mind as you deal with folks who are part of MLMs, although most MLMs are NOT scams and they should be transparent with you about their intentions and be able to pass the tests I will describe here every time. I also want to mention there are a lot of OnlyFans content creators that very quickly go into their content, as many set up profiles specifically for advertising. These are not scammers usually either, and are up front about their intentions with you. Furthermore, some sex workers operate on social media, and just like with MLMs or OnlyFans content creators, you can directly ask them if they want to be friends or if they’re only interested in promoting their business. I usually tell them I’m looking for friends, not looking to buy anything, and while no one has told me off, there are quite a few that will just stop messaging you or get annoyed if you message them a few days later. But then you know for sure?

Here are some common lies that non-local scammers will tell, as well as other things to watch out for. This isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list, but this is what I know and have experienced.

• Claims that their phones are inoperable in a way so they can’t make voice or video calls. This is because the accounts are being operated by someone who is nothing like who is in the profile. Chances are, that pretty woman you’re talking to is actually a big Nigerian guy who makes a living scamming people, so he won’t give up his voice, accent, or himself and focus on text.
• Requests to switch conversation to a different platform, such as Telegram, Whatsapp, or Signal. This is because the person they’re transferring you to is not the same person on Facebook, but someone else in their ring that is trained to more aggressively rope people in. The front line people on Facebook are typically newer at scamming and responsible for finding victims to bring to their masters.
• Their English will be broken in a way that isn’t consistent with a native English speaker. This one is a tough one because a lot of people who have learning disabilities may have broken English themselves, or at least be incapable of identifying easily when someone else is not speaking English correctly. Scammers love taking advantage of anyone they can, and someone who can’t tell their English is screwed up is an added bonus.
• Some of these will ask for Cashapp too, but not all. In order to get a Cashapp account, they need someone stateside to register for an account. While they can often get money mules with CashApp, most of the time they will use other methods for money.
• Some will play the same game as local scammers do, which is an indicator the person you’re talking to is possibly a domestic scammer. Remember that addicts will stop at nothing to feed their habits, so never underestimate them.

How can you protect yourself? It’s a lot easier than you think, especially if you follow these rules.

• Never transfer money to anyone that you have not met in person. Most of these scammers have zero intention or ability to meet you in person, so if you make that a requirement before you send any money, then they will eventually give up. Make sure that you have met this person in person at least 3-5 times before giving them any money whatsoever (or even invite them to your home), and each encounter must be at least an hour in a public place.
• Demand a video call, or at least a voice call. Most scammers will deny this request with excuses excuses excuses. Don’t believe any of it. While someone who isn’t a scammer may still decline a phone call, if they’re not trying to do anything wrong to you, and legit try to get to know you, they will at least do a quick call to let you know they’re real. A scammer can’t do this most of the time. It’s also a red flag if they try to gaslight you into thinking that asking for a phone or video call is “weird”. It isn’t. Real people looking to make genuine connections will have no problems proving to you they are a real person, and should be enthusiastic about seeing your face as well.
• Learn about the resources available to the needy and the homeless. Many scammers take advantage of middle class and higher people who have never been poor and thus have never had to reach out to community and public aid to get by. Everything from food, utilities, clothes, shelter, phone service, and even internet, can be provided to those in need. It’s true some people just need rides to these places, or a couple of bucks for bus fare, but that isn’t what scammers are asking for. Before you think about being someone else’s savior, realize that the best thing to do for anyone is point them in the right direction to be able to help themselves.
• When scammers say they’re in need of money for a bill, or whatever else they want to claim they’re lacking, offer advice on the resources available to them. Anyone on public aid can walk into a cell phone store and sign up for service that is free or cheap. They can also go online or call a number, and get a free phone with a free line of service. Like I said before, nearly everything someone needs is available at low or no cost for those who are truly in need. No one willingly goes on for an extended period of time without something that is essential, so don’t rush to send someone money just because they say they need it.
• When someone tells you they owe money on a bill, make them show you the bill. Or at least do your own homework to see if that number makes sense. For example, a few months ago someone asked me to send them $80 on cashapp for a phone bill. Aside from me barely knowing the person, when I asked them who their carrier was, they said Verizon, so I checked the website to see if there are plans for 2 lines that cost $80. Surprise surprise, there wasn’t! If you believe they have this bill without showing you proof, I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale.
• Most importantly, don’t send money to people you feel sorry for. There’s a reason their piss poor choices in life have gotten them to where they are. Don’t be a part of something that continues the cycle. If you really want to do good for someone bad like this, waste as much time as you can and never give them a red cent. If you’re going to give them something, give them a small amount like $10-20, an amount that shouldn’t hurt. Remember that most scammers have to scam multiple victims to get enough money for whatever it is they’re after, so while it may seem they want $80 for a “bill”, they’re really just out for drugs and that without giving them everything it brings them that many dollars close to their goal.
• Learning some common words in Hindi and Yoruba might be helpful. While this isn’t the most reliable method, dropping words like “alaye” and “oloshi” into the conversation with a scammer will often reveal the scammer’s true nature, as it is in their native language and they will suspect that you are actually one of them. Let’s be honest, they can’t see you either so they have no clue that you are really you, and if you can drop a few words and phrases here and there, they will move on and not waste time with you. Which might be what you want, if you’re not into scambaiting. They might ask you what you mean by “Alaye”, just respond with something like “oloshi” or another insult. You can look these words up online and learn more, but basically Alaye means “explain” and “oloshi” means “stupid”. International scammers expect most Americans to not only speak just English, they know that many don’t even speak English all that well
• If they can pass ALL of these tests, then they’re probably not a scammer. If a single test is failed, then you know they’re a total scammer. I mean it, every single test must be passed, don’t give them any leeway. If a single one of these conditions can’t be met, they’re bullshitting you for the purpose of scamming you.

I hope this information helps you stay safe online! I think these rules should also apply to women dealing with men scamming them, but I can’t speak on that specifically.